July 31, 2011

Chocolaty Winter


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My father had been suffered from cancer for 6 months, yet the news about him passing away on July 21st struck me like a lightning. I could not think of anything else but wanting to get a flight and fly home, to give my mother a hug and strength, and to be with family. Instead, I am stuck here in New Zealand, cannot go home because of many reasons and conditions we are facing right now. I felt miserable, guilty, and sad. However, one thing I have to just accept that he will never feel pain anymore.


My father was so happy on my wedding day
He wasn't a sweet tooth person, but he never failed to spoil us with sweets when we were kids. I always waited for him to come back home with a pile of chocolate bars, or a box of lollies. The sweetest memory I had with him was when we were going fishing on a wooden bridge. He led my hand and put the bait for me, then let me fishing with my tiny fishing pole which he made himself from a strong tree shoot. He gave a smile and calmly cheered when I gave a yell that I caught a fish, although it was only a tiny baby fish. He made me proud of what I achieved.


Father, mother and uncles posed for family album on my wedding day
There are moments I would never forget, especially when we were both in the kitchen. He wasn't a modern cook, but he knew what he could cook and wanted to cook, although sometimes he would love me rather cooking him his favourite dinner which I did it in pleasure. I always loved cooking for him, because he always ate them all up. I can understand how suffering he was when he had to fight the cancer in his mouth. Anyway, he is no longer suffering now. A relief. 


Talking about chocolate, I almost fill in Winter season with chocolate treats every now and then.


We have had chocolate pudding. A classic one, served warm and eaten after dinner in front of the fireplace. Delicious and soulful.


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And every now and then we have Homemade Hot Chocolate served with Homemade Candied Orange Peel. It taste like Jaffa Hot Chocolate!


Hot Chocolate and Homemade Candied Orange Peel


There was a Gluten-Free Two Layers Chocolate Cake. It was no celebration but I felt like making milk chocolate cake. Unusual of me as I am more a dark chocolate person, but it was quite satisfying.


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My dear daughter has just turned 7 and I made her Gluten-Free Four Layers Chocolate Cake with cream cheese and mascarpone filling with milk chocolate buttercream, sprinkled with Valrhona chocolate pearls



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Her older brother served us his homemade pies for lunch, that he made from scratch, including the pastry, on that day. We all made it so special for her. And she was just so happy.


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And now, KBB has its own task on pastry with chocolate this month. Another treat.


Pastry Making. Helped by my little kitchen fairy. 


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I adjusted the measurement for gluten-free flours. The  mixture was much wetter than I expected. Perhaps, my little kitchen fairy did not measure it right, I just did not want to disappoint her, so I tried my best to keep the pastry balanced. I ended up making a lot more pastry than it should be. So, my pastry was quite thick. I rest it in the fridge for up to an hour.


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Do you know how tricky it is working on gluten-free pastry? You can't expect it pliable quite the same as gluten flours. Although I have use Guar Gum and Xanthan Gum as the thickener, the dough will still be torn here and there. I just lifted it up carefully with whatever I could lift on the base of the tin, and press the rest of them to the sides. Rest it for an hour in a tin, before it is blind baked and cool for 15 minutes.


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Filling Making. My little kitchen fairy beat the eggs and sugar. We use Valrhona Manjari. I did not use much sugar as I love it bittersweet than a too sweet tart. 


And here is what we've got:


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Would love to have it with berries, but they are not available locally here, so we just serve it with thick cream and Valrhona cocoa powder to dust.


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Review: Kecewa dengan hasil kerjaku kali ini, ga sesuai dengan yang aku harapkan. Kulit pastry terlalu tebal dan filling yang tidak gooey. Sedih karena mengorbankan coklat Valrhona yang mahil!

10 comments:

Hesti HH. said...

Mbak Arfi...turut berduka yang sedalam-dalamnya ya. Nggak bisa membayangkan sedihnya gak bisa menemani ayahanda di saat terakhir. Tapi kenangan yang indah bersama ayahanda tercinta pasti akan terus melekat sampai akhir hayat...

Alessandra said...

Ciao Arfi,

I feel for you, it is hard to be so far away in moments like these. Thank you for sharing these lovely memories with us.
Lots of love and hugs

A.

Peter G @ Souvlaki For The Soul said...

Sorry to hear about your dad Arfi. And thank you for also sharing these wonderful chocolate creations with us.

Happy Cook / Finla said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad.Like you said at least he won't feel pain anymore.
I can understand the guilt and pain you feel, my mom passes away few months back suddenly and I still feel the guilt that I was not able to see her before she passed away.
hugs to you my dear friend.

Scott at Real Epicurean said...

Sorry to hear about this.
Scott.

gluten-free-foodie.net said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news, Arfi. I'm sure he knows you were with him in spirit.

Arfi Binsted said...

Thank you all my dear friends. I do appreciate your sympathy and condolences. May God Bless you.

Penny said...

Very sorry to hear about your Dad Arfi :( Distance is always so much greater at these times.

Aarthi said...

Hai Dear

This looks yummy....you have a lovely blog… You have so many wonderful recipes..I have bookmarked you blog and some recipe from that to try..Please check out my blog.I am having a Giveaway in my blog..Please check it out and partcipate in that..
http://yummytummy-aarthi.blogspot.com/2011/07/homemade-bounty-chocolate-and-giveaway.html

Aarthi

Mom's the little one said...

Innalillahi Wa Inna'ilaihi Rojiun, turut berduka cita atas berpulang nya bapak ya,mba. He is in the best place now, no suffer anymore.